Friday, January 2, 2009

Hamstrings from Hell



Take it "step by step"








Hamstrings from Hell....literally.


On the seventh day God rested. Unfortunately within a few hours of leisure God remembered that he forgot.......to make hamstrings! As luck would have it just then Satan slithered up and said, " Hey Big guy take it easy, I will make the hamstrings for you." And God responded, " Wow thanks Satan, your the best!" Hence, hamstrings from Hell.

I have tight hamstrings. If I stretch em they are tight. If I don't stretch em they are tight. If I run they are tight. If I don't run they are tight. They are tight in the mornin' and they are tight in the evenin.' They are tight when I make coffee. How tight are they you ask? They are has tight as a ant's butt. Now imagine performing a colonoscopy on a ant. Even with little ant sized tools it would be difficult.

I went to a doctor years ago because my lower back was always talking to me. It was saying ahhhhhh and ohhhhhh. So this doctor looks me over and he asked me the dreaded question, " Would you touch your toes for me?" Well I tried but my hammys had other plans. The Doc says, " You don't have a lower back problem, you have a hamstring problem. You sir have the tightest hamstrings I have ever seen." Well I was thrilled for about a second. Yes, I am number one! The tightest in the land! Then it occurred to me this is a distinction I really don't want.

So I stretch them very gently. I stretch before I run, during the run and after the run and my reward is they are still tight. My wife, Lorelie, is always asking me, " Did ya stretch, did ya stretch, did ya stretch? YES I STRETCHED!

So I live with my strings as best I can and I know somewhere Mr. Satan is laughing his ass off.
Go to my running tips website to get more info on Tight Hamstrings and tons of walking, jogging and running information.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

The Winter Running Campaign


As some of you already know I cancelled winter. I thought it would make your new running program more enjoyable. The fact that it isn’t even November and its freaking snowing leads me to believe my climate request has been turned down!

No worry, lets go to plan B. Plan B is your freeze your as……No! Look everybody, there are some very nice people who make these things called clothes. You can purchase them and run in them. My point is you don’t have to be cold. If you are cold you decided to be cold. Wear everything you own if you have to but don’t let me hear you say, “ I can’t run its too cold”.

The reason to run head first into a winter campaign is you don’t want to wake up one early spring morning with pasty white thunder thighs and a bunch of junk in your trunk. Ya gotta run! Ya gotta run all winter my friends. That will make your spring and summer a fitness fest!

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

The Fall Running Campaign

Don't end up like this guy! Keep Running!!!Jogging !!! Walking !!!Whatever it takes, just stay away from that couch.

I live in New England. Its mid September. You know what that means? Something huge and ugly is coming. No its not my mother in law! She's sweet and beautiful and does not own a computer.Its..its...i cant bare to say it....Winter! Ahhhhh...ahhhhhh...cough..ahhhh. OK calm down coach. Here's the good news. The best running conditions are right now. Yes fall, where the air is crisp and cool. Be careful as you may get pummeled by falling leaves. So really enjoy the next few months and take comfort in the fact that I have cancelled winter. We will go from October to May. No. no you don't have to thank me. I do it for the people.In case the icy death March does return......ahhhhh...ahhhhhhh!Coming soon, how to survive the "winter campaign". Keep'a running everyone!

Coach Carvey